So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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