Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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