we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
His nipple licking is glorious
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