i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
