we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
