This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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