jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
