It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
