just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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