i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
