Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize