i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
