he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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