I got her a Nickelback box set.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
