I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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