I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
