I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
