I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
