I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
