Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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