how can u be prego again
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize