You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
