do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
