We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
