I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize