I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
