Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
