How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
