I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
