You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
