hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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