Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
