Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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