He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
