In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
false alarm, still single
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
