worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
