He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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