I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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