he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
