you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
