You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
