I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
