after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
