Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
