I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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