so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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