Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
