hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
