so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize