I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
is it fun? or sober?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
