she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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