we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
