Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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