the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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