I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
