Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
