I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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