Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize