If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
