my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
